Someday, Someplace, Sometime ......

Oh how much I wished i was there,
Somewhere i could run around
Do what I want
I would've just Loved it
A Place which I could call my own
Maybe i could go there
Someday, Someplace, Sometime

We can't keep waiting
So we need to move on
Holding on to the past,
It's just gonna make things Worse
Letting go is hard
But we can do it
Someday, Someplace, Sometime

It's been ages since you had this dream
But once again in life
You have come to a point
Where you have to choose .....
You can't make up your mind
But you say.... I will do it
Someday, Someplace, Sometime


Message : Never wait for Life to come to you Just go and Have it the way you want it  <3

My Dark Side

I dunno where I am going

I have no direction 

I need not be told what to do And what not

I have to learn from my own mistakes

That's all it takes to be right

I know I haven't been perfect

I am fragile , to easily broken

I have dreams of my own

I need to be left alone

That's all I am asking of you

I have a life and

I want to live it the way I planned

I go around wasting my time

I do it cause I need some answers

Without them I can't move on

I might have hurt you but

I would never do it intentionally......

You say it like you haven't done a thing to me

You try to turn and twist me

You want me to be your puppet 

You just want to keep me to yourself.....

There are another million things

That I would Love to say 

But that would not make me any better

It would just make me another GIRL

Who wants to be Heard out loud ...

Just from my memories ..... <3

Memories are what we want more than anything .......

Memories, what are these memories ..... are they happy.....are they sad .......big or small.... is it just something we want to remember or forget or a box full of crap we don't want to ever remember because it hurts so much to even look towards it.

We all have a bunch of these memories, these memories are a constant  reminder of what we did back then when we were younger... maybe it was something stupid or terribly ridiculous :P or someone who you loved alot but you couldn't anymore, or even cried for nonsensical reasons like your BFF is not talking to you or the world hates me ... that kinda stuff. But these are just the upper half of your memories just the top layer , what matters is the pain, the lesson,the good we had done, the mistakes that we remember, and promising that we would never do anything as stupid as that....

These memories still remain with us cause there is a reason greater than what we think it is, it's not always the happiest of memories that we remember .. there are these dark and sad days which we cant forget at any cost, those scars which are engraved forever in our hearts and minds it cannot be healed completely but we try , we try hard enough to pile them up with happy ones...Every small little memory of things that has happened is what makes us want them more  than ever. We would happily go back in time and re-live those wonderful memories again and again, but it wouldn't be worthwhile.Every small memory is a part of the bigger picture which might just flash before your eyes on your deathbed. 

It is at that exact moment when we realize that even though our life was filled with hardships, those were still the best days that we could ever get from our lives.It didn't matter if they were happy or sad all that matters is that we went through these annoyingly but still awesome days with our loved ones and they always stood by our sides no matter what may have come...

These memories are the only things that get us through our tough times.... I just can't imagine a life without any of these memories cause this is what reminds us who we really are and how much we have changed since then ....

My Rendezvous Trip To India - PART 1

Ohhh.... finally I am back to where I started from , it's been quite some time since i have blogged about anything well it was cause I was on vacation with my parents and my primal destination was INDIA. When we say India all that comes up in our mind is it's upbringing of various cultures in just one country .... which is not quite seen in so many other countries of the world. We all know that India kindles more than one form of religion within ... but that's not what i want to tell you all... Let me start from the very beginning

It was 19th of July when we were supposed to make our first stoppage in India that is MUMBAI, what a wonderful and interesting city it is..... now isn't it ??? It is known as the city of Dreams, the city in which every person comes to fulfill their dreams which they probably couldn't do in their territory. So Mumbai is always open to every person from any part of the world , well a city with a big heart..... well that's just the intro, back to they story we had a very tiring journey of three and a half hours and by the time we reached Mumbai it was the next day 20th of July . And on the same day we were supposed to be off for Raipur(Chhattisgarh) from Kurla Station (Lokmanya Tilak Terminus - LTT). We barely had time to catch a breath . The next thing we know is we are on the road chasing a taxi which would take us to the station. We finally got a taxi after a 30 min stand. We were already falling behind and to add up to all the mess there was a huge traffic jam which pulled us  even more behind time, and then when we reach the station

NEWS FLASH !!!!!! THE TRAIN FROM LOKMANYA TILAK TERMINUS, GYANESHWARI EXPRESS HAS BEEN CANCELLED DUE TO ANOTHER RAIL ACCIDENT

As soon as i heard that it was a thunderclap to my ears .... I was in plain shock, after all we went through this is what we get. We decided to go and ask the officials if there was any other train that could take us to our next destination Raipur. It was hard to get the tickets since there were tons of other people whose train;s were cancelled or delayed due to the same accident around six train expresses were cancelled..


That was not the only problem we had excess luggage more than what 3 people could handle with ease, so we couldn't go around looking for some place to get tickets for 3 just like that. We took shifts in order to look after the luggage. It's Mumbai so it is usually crowded and the crowds in the railways may not be so welcoming. people keep on staring at you as if you're some kind of alien that has arrived in their territory...It was my turn to stay back with the luggage and in that time slot my parents went to get the tickets , it took them 1 WHOLE HOUR to come back i was expecting my dad too but he wasn't there , only my mum was back. 

Then the both of us waited and waited for at least another 2 hours it was already 11 pm and the place seemed a bit unsafe. Both of us were worried about my father, in this strange place where we do not belong anything could happen. We were really scared just the 2 of us ... my mum said she would go to search for him alone but i was scared and told her I wouldn't wait alone on top of that with me gone too who would take care of the luggage ..???? So both of us decided to take all of the luggage FIVE BAGGAGE'S with just the 2 of us . 

As soon as we set our foot out of the station a huge crowd of men started surrounding us and asked if we needed a cab or an auto we kept on ignoring them but they just wouldn't leave it was the most terrifying thing that could have happened at that time when we both were helpless we didn't even have a sim card for Mumbai which added up to our troubles no way of communicating to my dad.

Then we finally managed to get out of that crowd and started walking towards the booking office which was not that far but with the heavy loads on our backs and weak hands we couldn't go any faster ..... that short distance in this hard time seemed to be very long than what it was . We almost gave up but then we had to go on , everyone staring and wondering where these two are going . Finally we reached to the office and there we saw my dad we were overjoyed to see him as well as angry cause he just left us there alone with no means to contact him. 

He said that he had managed to get 3 seats in the BHUVANESHWARI EXPRESS for us but the train would only leave the next morning at around 5 am , since we had no means of going back home we had to wait overnight in the booking office itself which was quite uncomfortable but when we were together there was nothing to worry about. And the next day we went on that train and reached safely to Raipur.

This experience has taught me that there are worse things in life that can happen to us than the small things we keep on whining about .... " The fear that has been kindled in the minds of the young brave heart can somehow turn out to be true unexpectedly "

Always remember that only GOD and our hopes can save us in such tough times ......

Searching for someone ...

Excuse me who are you ?? I look back at the past and ask the OLD ME ..... I try searching for those lost memories. A lot has changed over the course of time . It feels like i have already lived a lifetime and it's still 17 years of my life only. I still feel I am incomplete  need something to fill that hole in my heart. I feel like I am a new person now not knowing anything about the past. I have a lot of secrets as well like any normal person But am I still the same person or have I changed too ?? I keep on thinking....


When I look back at my past I remember a small kid who was just sitting in the corner of the class on the first day she soon learned to make friends , the next thing i know she is just hanging with guys maybe cause of the haircut ( i suppose :P)
She evolved slowly it took her some time to cope up with everyone. Trust me she loved her old school a lot she loved all of her friends a lot. though she was a quiet, little nerd but a feisty girl she managed to keep her friends close <3 This school had taught her many important things in her life which helped her most of the time.

The worst part was Leaving her first school and going to the next one ...... she wasn't happy at all but she had no choice at all but to go with the flow :( This was the worst decision ever made though everyone thought she was happy but I think deep inside she wasn't at all. going through all those old memories which could not be forgotten. Maybe there was something that could make her happy but nothing. Even though she had a fun time in her new school she still couldn't bear it anymore, she felt quite left out . She felt like an outsider as though she never belonged there or it was not her day ever. this is what she got for being a quiet girl right ??

She had to do something so that people know her more but what could she do . She tried everything possible. She changed herself completely just so that people would understand her she is the perfect example of what we can say a good girl gone bad ... well not completely but she is in the process of going bad all i can say. She used to be this bright student always scoring awesome marks but now she is nothing just someone who will never be know to anyone ..... why is her name in vain just cause of some other person she is an individual and she has the right to be who she is, Like her for who she is and not for someone who you want her to be .

it was once said that - " what you do unto others shall be done unto you "

This girl reminds me about someone who i used to know once long time ago

One After the Other

There are so many things in our life that are never ending including friendship , but i'm sure it doesn't irritate us. The never ending thing that irritates us the most are EXAMS. When we write our exams all we think about is "when is it gonna get over" , we just keep on waiting for the last day of exams. When the last day of exams are over as well we just jump out of joy, we are soo happy that we don't even care about how we performed. What can you say that's what makes everyone happy, EXAMS GETTING OVER.








But it is seriously never ending, if it gets over we start preparing for the next one and it's like we have no other choice.We just think that writing on paper, or viva are exams but they remain for the rest of our life. Every step we take or every decision we make counts. Those very steps decide whether we are going to pass this test or fail. And we wait our whole lives for this test to get over even in our ripe old age we try to get past things. We always try to feel happy even when we are tired of this crap. But obviously this will not stop us from enjoying life now will it ??

It will just slow down our pace a bit more than before ... Well that's nothing to worry about our life has many ups and downs now doesn't it. This is just one of it and nothing more. The best way to make it through is to always be prepared many of us are in the last or final year of schooling then we might just go into some college in order to take another step in our education so all we can do from our side is that we concentrate completely on our studies and keep away the distractions...... trust me there will be a lot of them that will come in our way to stop us from reaching to our destination , not the final one obviously but to take us to another level or phase of our life .... So keep working hard one day you won't regret it  :)

Well there is another option we can fight these tests or exams if we want to :P

What we do and what we really want to do ....

Trust me most you would obviously be doing this it's not just me or you but a whole bunch of people out there who tend to do this again and again . If i could describe it in one word or sentence then i would but it's not possible.

Well this is not just a single emotion here but it is a wave of numerous emotions coming together. Well usually if we cant get something or be with someone we usually start hating the thing or that person. i have no clue as to why we usually do it , but maybe we think it's a better option than to bear the negligence that we are facing . Well in the case of people....... We start hating soo much that we even forget when we actually craved for the friendship of that person or maybe we just hate the fact that he or she doesn't even care about our existence.

We forget the times that we were ever eager to meet the person, 1 small notion just changes the entire course of our lives. This hatred slowly starts turning into jealousy and we might not even know when it happened . We start wondering whether we ever liked the person or was it always the same ? Where are those days when everyone lived as a big happy family people never cared about anything they were carefree everyone was united as ONE.

Sometimes when that person starts talking to us we just forget about hating them and once they stop we start hating them again its like a switch like literally we keep on switching our sides again and again. But that is the worst situation a person can put himself into.

STOP for a moment and take a look at your past, try to remember each and every moment that lead to your so called hatred for that person ..... and believe me you won't even find a single incident due to which a humongous wall was created between the both of you. All this hatred has driven you to be envious of the person, you just get consumed into hating the person with all your heart and soul , but all you wanted was to reach out and shake that person's hand as a sign of friendship. Now this has turned into an ugly battle which you are practically fighting with yourself. the person you hate obviously doesn't know it all but also doesn't care what you think about them.

So my suggestion would be to forget those people and live your life the way you want to. However hard you try to be with them it's not gonna happen so forget that they even exist and live your life :D .OK technically you can't forget them but You can still try a bit and maybe when it's the right time they will come to you. So fingers crossed and never ever hate a person cause it does no good :) 

What's on my Mind .......

Sometimes i don't know what i think or maybe i am just too confused too think right ..... My thoughts are kinda foggy. I dunno what's going on. I think its cuz of studies . I am too busy to think about anything. Time is passing by so fast that i don't have a single second to sit and think about anything calmly. What has life become ???
We do not see the things happening around us, we are stuck in this maze which will take more than a lifetime to escape from ...... We are nothing more than a dead person walking on the face of the earth. We are like the living dead. Just moving around meaninglessly, like we don't have a heart nor feelings.

These things that happen to us every day is kinda spooky i think, what people say is the truth or is just a small little prank. Even when everyone else in the room can see what's happening, why cant we see it through our own eyes. Everything is happening right in front of us but we still do not observe it. People around us come and tell us that " it's true that it has to be it..." but we still tend to neglect the fact that it is true. I mean are we just neglecting it or are we trying to run away from it.... Deep inside we know the truth behind the whole story but we don't want to accept it. It's cause we are scared that this truth might just change the entire course of our life. It can completely change our lives and create a void in it. The truth we see but don't want to accept can bring in some unexpected trouble and we so do not want any disturbance in our life.

After all this time, it has to happen. Things tend to take place in very bad timings. Where was it when we were actually begging for it to happen??? Time has gone by too far. What we need earlier is standing right in front of our doorstep, but taking it in right now is not the right thing cause we don't know what could happen on doing so.There is a little doubt in my mind.... Am i doing the right thing??? Well all i can do is wish for  this to never happen. SO i don't have to make a choice which might hurt me or others.

Can i rely on someone who knows all of my deepest and darkest Secrets. Or will the person turn their back on me. It's too hard to say . There's more than just meets the eye. The same thought arises again "am I doing the right thing ??? " " Is it gonna work out , I am soo confused that i can't make up my mind , I need someone to help me or else I'll go crazy "Well there has to be an answer to all of this so I am gonna end with a positive note "Listen to Your Heart first and then Your Mind "



                                                                                  Dedicated to

confused people like me :P

Was I where I belong ......

As i took my first step,
into this beautiful planet.
I surely couldn't see a thing,
only could rely on my senses.
Was i where I belong.....

I asked to myself ,
As i looked upon the past.
Now back to the time when i said something,
was it "MA" or was it "PA"
I can't remember enough.
And again I asked to myself
Was i where i belong....

I can vaguely remember the day,
I first entered the classroom.
New faces everywhere,
Made me feel scared and alone.
Was I where i belong....

It was soon enough,
that I made new friends.
Enjoyed with all of them,
Never cared about anything else.

After some years everything changed.
All  I cared about was making others happy,
Where was my own happiness and pleasure.
I might've lost it somewhere on the way.
This hectic life took everything away
Was I where I truly belong....

I would give anything to relive these moments.
But How can i bring back time,
It's quite impossible.
But all I can do is Live in the present ,
And cherish these very moments.
So i can look upon these as a beautiful past......

Just a Smile....

A smile means a lot to us ....... now doesn't it .When you are sitting for an exam, or in a quiet classroom, or at some distance,or when you're up to something, all it takes is a smile to understand each other. When we are sad, when we are nervous, when we feel insecure, just a person smiling can make all our fears disappear. When we smile we can make someone feel good, a smile means a lot to each and every one of us. It is not just a sign of happiness but its also comforting. When someone smiles at you, you always smile back don't you ??? A smile can tell a thousand things at one go.

When we see someone sad and down we ask them what's the reason for their sadness. And if we can help them we tend to do anything possible so as to help them. A true friend would always find ways to fix everything they can. They will do anything just to bring that "SMILE" on your face, Cause that smile means more than anything to them. 

But there are many instances when people try to bury all their hardships in life beneath their beautiful smile, just so that the world would not have to bother about their troubles in life. We do not need to carry the troubles of the entire world on our shoulder, we should live our life without any regrets and tension cause we do not have a REPLAY or REWIND BUTTON for our life so as to relive the moments. All it takes is a smile to solve all the problems in the world. It has the power to keep everything where it belongs. When we smile everyone around smiles. The power of a smile is more effective than any known weapon in the entire dimension.

(The reason why I smile ........ U smile I smile..... all remind's us of the same thing)

   
So keep on smiling and never ever be sad ^_^
dedicated to everyone <3

Why Don't we get what we deserve ????

How many tears are you gonna shed for something you've wanted with all your heart, however hard you tried you still couldn't get it. You kept on trying constantly, you see everyone happy but when it comes to yourself you notice how everyone is happy with what they have and you're still clinging onto something you've wanted so badly. It's like your life is incomplete without it. Mostly people would term this as being envious but that's not it.
Though you deserve more than what you usually get. Someone might have truly said that LIFE IS NEVER FAIR    WITH ANYONE even till your last breath. somewhere deep inside you're hurt badly but you never show it to others. How pathetic you feel inside just on your own never able to tell it to anyone but what else can you do, the others will never understand what you are going through. Sometimes people take away the thing you loved the most something that belonged to you and try to cover it up by saying that they have done more than they took.

People usually say that you should be happy with whatever you have. But how many people in this world are actually happy with what they have. They still keep on wanting more. Even if you beg for it you do not get it. How can you live with the fact that you are not one of them or not accepted in the society because of who you are. Sometimes this makes you feel like you are left out.

You keep on asking God what wrong have you done that you have to go through this almost everyday of your life. Who knows what tomorrow
brings. You keep on waiting for tomorrow and finally you have no more patience left. It's the fact that life is always unfair with you you seriously dunno what to do. When people say that they wish they could be like you you feel good but at the same time you remember how confusing and hard your life is and try telling them "better think what you're wishing for". This might be the reason why some people cant live with life anymore. They are in the middle of everything neither are they in the good position or in the bad one.

Dedicated to some people in the world .

The girl i met in 8th grade......

November 18 2008, was one of the most special days in my life - sports day (though sports is not my thing ), well i was completely ditched since all of my friends had taken part in most of the sports events. This boredom and loneliness lead me to two people who I didn't exactly know. I was bored so I started talking to them, and getting to know them even more...... and it seemed that they knew more about me than I knew about myself :P
Those two girls literally changed the meaning of a beautiful relationship called FRIENDSHIP .

Ever since that day they have been really great friends to me, I really got a wonderful gift something more than I might have asked for. I ended up being friends with someone who i never knew. Maybe that was what luck had for me. It's been 3 and a half years since we've been best buddies. Like in every relation between friends we had our own ups and downs. I don't think that any relationship ever existed without these basic elements.

There have been times when I was mean to them, things really became sour between us but we still made up and kept going on....... I see them as one of my most important friends I ever had, it's not just them but they do mean a lot to me. They are what I would truly love to see in each and every friend of mine, " the strength to tell the truth right on my face". They never hid anything from me even if the things they said would hurt me. But this wasn't a bad thing, because of this I actually gained more strength than before. Though it was never direct they have surely helped me in these small ways.

We had many lovely moments together, I can never forget them and hope that they never forget it too. Some sad, some happy but we will never let any sort of thing come between us. I will always remember You Kasthuri and Abigail for the rest of my life. Now it's like another barrier, that is going to come between us Kas. You are leaving us but i would love to enjoy these few days we've got together . However hard luck tries to separate us we will never forget each other.I will always remember those awkward moments we had together.

How does it feel to be hidden in the shadows ??

Every person in this world would want to have their own identity and not be in the shadows of other people. They want to be unique in their own different way. They want to do something different from the others. But what do they get in return nothing, nothing at all. But this doesn't mean that it's the end of everything. It's just a new beginning . All you can do is try harder and try it again and again till u get it right.

But at least it's better than the people who keep on following other people like they are owned by them or they have to serve them. How does it feel to be invisible. It;s kinda sad how people are sidelined just because of some reasons which they cant change. Some people just like to make other people feel bad about themselves. But you cant just sit and go through that nonsense, You have to rise and speak up against them. Keeping quite will just do more harm than help you.




If you have something to tell the world just try to say it out loud rather than keeping it in yourself. It will make you happy. As Kelly Clarkson said in her lyrics "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger". These hardships will get over but while getting over it makes you even more stronger. Once you are out of the shadows you will feel like you are reborn. A new person now ready to conquer the world.

However these hardships when over leaves a new person behind :)

Loss of a loved one ....

My Grandfather and Grandmother

I thought I wasn't gonna blog till my exams would get over but if i wouldn't do this it would be an insult to all those beautiful memories of my beloved GRANDFATHER. I never knew him that well but all of my days with him i wanted to know more about him what he did when he was young, how does he feel about everything, what was the mystery behind all of those things. it was like a question to me Why, all these years i couldn't know the real him. And now that he is gone all those questions in my mind will remain unanswered forever.


Though i can't say that he died in the raw age of 101 years, but he had a long and happy life he was quite fortunate to see his great grand-children as well I don't expect that most of us would ever get this opportunity.

But his death was sudden and unexpected. Yesterday when i had finished my preparations for today's paper and almost gone to sleep a call from my cousin comes saying "My Grandfather passed away " At first I thought that it was just that he got a bit more sick but then he had already passed away by 1:00 a.m. at night.





He was a really good person from what I hear about him , I was excited to meet him this summer since I was travelling after 4 years and I was finally going to meet him. It might have been fate or something else 
that even after planning the whole thing out I was 
never destined to meet him.The last time I saw  him was in the year 2008. I had great hopes of meeting him but now all I can hope is for his soul to Rest in Peace. It's all part of God's great plan I think that God wanted my grandfather back since he had a real long life here on earth. Now that he is gone he is going to stay happily with my GRANDMOTHER who passed away in 2000 They are finally united once again.
I hope that he may be happy in Heaven.


In the memory of My
Late Grandfather 

Is this just coincidence or something else ....

Just a normal day , I am dragging myself to go on with my same old routine, it is kinda bugging .... (actually very much). We meet up with our friends go to school, or work or any other place. The same old thing but has this ever occurred to your mind maybe something like ' Déjà vu '. You've seen it happening before and here you are again doing the same thing once more. When you think upon it again, it's like time stops for you and everything is going on in slow motion. But we still cant remember where or when did the same thing ever happen. We think over it for sometime and then it just washes off like a lost memory.

Have you ever been in a situation when you are thinking about something and the person sitting next to you is thinking the same even when you both haven't spoken about it. It's like you read your friend's mind . Well it has happened to me like a zillion times and it does get awkward. But sometimes it just makes your day. Or what about a situation where you accidentally meet your friend when they don't even  know that you are coming to that place (again a huge coincidence) But what if it keeps on happening with you ????? (it doesn't mean the person is a stalker, obviously not) Ever wonder what's the thing behind it ...


It's like there's a strong connection between you and that friend of yours. Some kind of connection which none of us can explain (maybe a psychiatrist could). But it's like there is some deep connection which we both do not know about . They always understand you , I mean most of it. Its like "hey you read my mind, I was gonna say the same thing " . Some things just cant be explained with a bunch of words. They just wont make sense. It's something more than what we understand. Well try thinking about it I'm sure there are many instances in your life which have these situations in them , it might help you know more .........

My Kiddish Poem :P (5th grade)

My Dog

My Dog's name is Roxy,
And he is very foxy,

He is an Alsatian,
But not a Dalmatian.


His nose is short and scrubby,
And he is long and chubby.


He tracks up the house,
When it's snowing.


He jumps in the air,
Exactly like a hare.


He likes to slide,
Whenever there's a tide.


He looks very cute,

When I play the flute.


When he is in the home,
He looks like a gnome.


Oh my doggy you're so sweet.


Dedicated to my
Late Roxy <3